Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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