I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
