Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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