Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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