why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
