So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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