How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
