Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
