I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
