I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
