And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
