i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
