All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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