I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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