we're chasing vodka with high fives
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
