It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
