Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
