My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
