The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Operation Purity has been aborted
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
