it hurts more in the daytime
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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