I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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