if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
