i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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