marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
