So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
