There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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