Its about making memories worth repressing
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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