He kissed a someone with a penis
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
