Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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