I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
