I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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