i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
