Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize