i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
