I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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