At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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