i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
