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He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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