Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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