he thought i was a dude.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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