i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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