Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
