There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
