I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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