you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize