i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
