ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
