If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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