So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
