So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
