I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You need Xanax blowdarts
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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