I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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