batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
