I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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